STORY TIME

A BRIEF STORY OF TIME

Once upon a very long time ago in the past the universe as we know it will to all intents and purposes cease to exist; time will stop. We may not however be aware of this because somewhere in the future the universe did not and time carried on.

But one day the universe will end, time will be no more and nothing will be the prevailing state of everything. In the future time travel will be a thing of the past because in order to maintain the normality of the presiding factors it will become necessary to travel back in time so we can warn the past that their future is in doubt.

However by doing so even with good intent we will create paradoxes of unimaginable consequences. Imagine inadvertently becoming your own great grandfather and meeting the woman who your great grandfather should have met and married , but failed to do so because she was delayed by a faulty traffic light and instead of meeting the man who was to become her husband father of her children and your great grandfather, she met you. He rendezvous with your future great grandfather didn’t occur. Three children who should have been born never got to be and the birth of their children suddenly never happened.

How could you cope with such paradoxes, could you cope with being there at your own birth, but how could this birth have happened if your own time line had been stopped. Coincidentally your grand father was a person from the future who came back in time to warn you of the impending demise of the universe. At this stage you may be experiencing problems coping with the fact that you are older than your father and younger than you brother who was born 3 years after you.

The arrow of time only travels in one direction only and this many people will say this is why we cannot travel in time. This was before we found out that there is a curvature to the space time continuum and now we quite rightly hypothesize that if indeed space time is curved then it is perfectly feasible that time travel is possible.

Time stops at the event horizon of a black hole and therein the laws of physics change to something we cannot yet understand. Theoretical physicists and quantum engineers have for many years pondered on the subject of time travel and so far the only workable hypothesis is that we would need to travel faster than the speed of light, the speed of light is constant and if even for the briefest of moments you could travel faster than the speed of light then there is an extreme likelihood that you would crash into the back of your self before you even set off. The speed of light is the universal constant.

Gravity it seems as a big part to play. The force of gravity at the center of a black hole is so immense that nothing can escape, not even light. We live in an apparently infinite universe, but that infinity is slowly becoming finite and as we run out of time gravity will undoubtably become the deciding factor that governs the death of the universe and everything we take for granted, such as sausage butties and jam on toast.

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Wildebeest Soup

The great Migration

A lone Vulture floated high on the hot African thermals and looked down at a lion that was looking at a wildebeest and thought dinner ! A hyena looked up at the vulture that was looking at the lion and thought dinner! A wildebeest looked at the hyena that was looking at the vulture that was looking at the lion and thought oh bloody hell dinner time. Just another day on the great annual migration.

As each hour seemed to pass smaller herds of wildebeest joined the melee a listlessness seemed to engulf the herd as it got bigger and bigger, still no clear direction, somewhere near by a leopard dragged the body of a young wildebeest off to a safe location, somewhere it could enjoy its feast in peace and perhaps save a bit for later, its supper perhaps.

From all directions now more and more wildebeest joined in the annual spectacle. Zebra’s added to the mix and somewhere close by another wildebeest fell to a pride of lions. A hyena looked on apparently disinterested, but with pangs of hunger slowly starting to make themselves known.

A lone wildebeest seemed to stand slightly apart from all this, thinking, watchful, distanced. Close by a pack of hyena squabbled over the remnants of a distant cousin 3rd time removed of the solitary wildebeest, vultures grabbed at tidbits and swallowed greedily.

Then suddenly things seemed to change, a new purpose, direction and determination to get where the grass is greener and the sun shines brighter. The herd now more than a million strong as if by magic turned and walked all in the same direction heading towards the river and new dangers. Wildebeest Zebra Antelope all with the same agenda, but is the grass always greener on the other side?

A lone wildebeest, detached maybe slightly aloof stood and thought; a hyena looked and laughed, as only a hyena can. The wildebeest looked at the hyena and thought, what you looking at, the hyena appeared to read the thoughts of the wildebeest and looked the other way.

The river, cross the river the verdant plains beckoned and the fresh juicy shoots of new growth. A lone wildebeest viewed the advance with trepidation. Lions Leopard Cheetah and now crocodiles. What’s the point what’s the point of it all. Another wildebeest fell victim to the marauding prides of lion. The river now the only barrier to the fresh green growth oh and the crocodiles of course.

The wildebeest stood apart from the herd, a hyena looked and laughed. What is to become of me thought the wildebeest dinner for lions, a snack for the crocodiles, lunch for leopard scavengers fighting over the remains what can I do ? A slight sound a far off sound a sound not known to the wildebeest but a sound none the less. From a vantage point the wildebeest looked and saw. Elephants, oh yes there lies the answer no animal attacks them I shall pretend to be an Elephant and be safe.

Somewhere on the periphery of the vast herd of wildebeest a lone wildebeest raised is snout in triumph, in the air and trumpeted like an elephant: And was promptly shot dead by ivory poachers. Close by an hyena laughed so much it fell off the termite mound it was sat on.

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THE PLANE SPOTTER

One day in Athens in Greece it was a very hot day, which was quite normal for this part of the world. Two smartly dressed business men sat outside a small Taverna and ordered extra olives and feta cheese to go with the coffee and greek salad they had just ordered. Again this was perfectly normal, across the street two tourist haggled with a street vendor about the price of a souvenir they thought would look nice on Granma’s mantle piece. This again was perfectly normal behaviour.

Just down the road a Walrus was window shopping, which wasn’t.

But then this was no ordinary Walrus, this Walrus called Yoric, was a plane spotter and a very excited plane spotter. And the thing that was making this particular Walrus excited was a book. The Walrus was looking through the window of a very old and dilapidated book shop, and there on display was a very rare book. Ye Olde worlde almanac of all things aeronautical in peace and war . Now the walrus being the reckless and impulsive sort of chap he was walked straight up to the proprietor and bought for a rather large sum of money the book. Then he bought the book shop for an even more ridiculous amount of money.

The book he kept, but the book shop he moved somewhere near to the Arctic circle selling books of total irrelevance to impoverished Caribou and Polar bears, which really pissed the Eskimo’s off: But that’s another story for another page and another day.

Many years later on a gloriously warm sunny day Yoric the Walrus perambulated itself as only a Walrus can down a broad leafy sunlit lane in the heart of the Cotswolds, whistling tuneless sweet nothings to himself the Walrus was agog with excitement and trepidation. The Walrus was paying an unannounced visit on his long time friend and mentor Rossini who was feeling quite low and in need of cheering up after a thieving magpie stole some items from a very valuable coin collection thus rendering it almost worthless.

So walking quite happily walking with Ye olde worlde almanac of all things aeronautical in peace and war, tucked under his arm and enjoying the atmospheric quality of a beautiful mid summer afternoon in the magnificent surroundings of the Cotswolds the Walrus waddled.

Quite what it was that made the Yoric look up into the sky will remain unanswered, possibly forever. Perhaps it was a sense of impending doom, or a small unidentifiable flying insect buzzing round is head. But what ever it was made the Walrus consult his almanac and immediately identify the rapidly moving black shape high up in the sky.

It was a JU88 Stuka dive bomber with two 200lb bombs attached to the underside of its wings.

Mmm curiouser and curiouser thought the Walrus what on earth would a Stuka dive bomber be doing here in the heart of England it is after all the year 2026 and these planes became obsolete many many years ago.

Now his friend Rossini lived in a quaintly archaic but typically English thatched roof cottage and was sat on the veranda listening to his favourite recording of the William Tell overture and he was totally unaware of the surprise visit of his friend the Walrus, and had absolutely no idea whatsoever that a Stuka dive bomber was about to drop two 200lb bombs on his cottage.

It was then that realisation dawned the Stuka was going to dive bomb his friends cottage. Must warn him thought the Walrus so running and tripping he attempted to warn his friend sweating and waddling and running as best he could he just made it to the veranda when the bombs struck. Bits of cottage and thatch, blubber and a moustache were strewn hither and thither.

Now some time later on a midsummers night a passing Litarist and Playwright called William was out walking seeking inspiration for a new play he was trying write when he came upon the ruins of a quaintly archaic but typically English cottage.

” What went on here” he asked to himself strange events no doubt. A chill wind seemed to emanate from somewhere far off yet so close, a sense of superstitious dread gripped William as he looked down on the ground and saw the skull of a Walrus poking through the grass. Every thing went quiet as he bent down and picked up the skull. As he held the skull up to the moonlight it seemed that the eyes of the Walrus came back into being a shiver coursed through William as he looked into the eyes of the skull and said

Many miles away at an airport in Athens in Greece an aeroplane lifted off and a family released their seat belts and drank a toast to one of the best holidays they had ever had.

But this was perfectly normal wasn’t it !